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Explaining your job to your mother
Carrie Stollings

Look at the personnel roster on many businesses. (And I’m not just picking on advertising agencies with this one!) Ever notice the huge number of Vice Presidents and Directors, and fancy titles for less than fancy jobs? (I know you’re thinking about the title “Sanitation Engineer” for the janitor!!)

You wonder if anyone is just a regular worker. A salesman. A secretary. A bookkeeper. A copywriter. Everyone is too busy being called by their high level title. (That executive washroom must get pretty crowded!!)

Does anyone really pay attention to titles? Especially when you have 42 Vice Presidents in a company and one poor dude who didn’t make the cut this year, but probably will next year – if they increase their billables to the clients?

And how do you explain being “Vice President of Creative Executions and Branding Management” to your mother?

So, our titles, like most things about us, are a little different.

Marc is Chief Mad Scientist, which is very appropriate. You know, mad scientists, they’re creative, inventive, always thinking and planning. Yes, they’re a little over the top and perhaps have a bit of an eccentric and slightly demented side. It works for marketing and creativity. Plus it’s fun to watch the gears turn and the smoke come out of their ears.

I’m Mission Specialist and Projected Coordinator of Orbital Confluence Interfacing and Accomplishment. Trying to keep it all together – making sure that each of our missions, for each of our clients, is successful, and that we don’t lose anyone to an errant meteor, sunspot or, heaven forbid, enemy lasers.

And we’re lucky to have lots of friends who support us through their own creative genius type efforts. We let them come up with their own titles. We owe them that much. They are after all - creative. And then they can explain them to their own mothers.